Thursday, September 27, 2012

Commitment Phobia: dating an RM

After contemplating for the past few days whether or not I should in fact share this with all of you.. I decided: what the heck! ..maybe the woes of my romances with return missionaries will help your own relationship endeavors or perhaps just bring some form of enjoyment to you merely because you are not experiencing the same schizophrenic love life as me.. basically, just be happy that you are not me:

Well here we go, after round two of getting "dumped" by return missionaries, I have found there are some crucial things that determine whether or not the RM you are interested in is truly ready to be in a relationship... despite what he leads you to believe:
  • Go on more than one date:
    • Sounds simple right? Wrong. These boy are tricky. They think just because they ask you on a date that you will fall for them instantaneously.. don't get me wrong, sometimes that is the case.. but even if he does lure you in with his unwavering testimony, frequent temple trips, and all of those exotic tales from the lands of his foreign mission, don't let his RM magic fool you! Just because the frist date worked out doesn't necessarily mean your short romance was divinely orchestrated.
  • Make sure he is fully adjusted to Post-Mission life:
    • Yeah, yeah, yeah.. he says he's acclimated to the real world. He claims that he is completely normal and ready to start dating. But just to be sure, let's take a look at this key question:

Has he been home for more than 3 months?
    • If the answer to this question is no, RUN. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. The title wave known as a committed relationship is going to drown this RM fast if he hasn't had time to figure out key survival skills that are essential for the post-mission life. Does this sneaky young lad know what being in a relationship means? Yes. Does he want to be in one? Well that truly depends on the guy... in my case no... TWICE. (But who's counting)
I know, you're asking yourself "So what? Why is she telling me this?" ...or maybe you just think I'm crazy -which may be the case.. and now that I think about it, makes my relationship issues far more understandable.. but regardless, take my advice and just don't date RMs. They plague the streets of Provo, lurring in unsuspecting sophomore girls, promising relationships filled with direction but leaving us dwelling in a perpetual state of confusion and regret.

-Lady Lucy

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