Commitment Phobia: dating an RM

After contemplating for the past few days whether or not I should in fact share this with all of you.. I decided: what the heck! ..maybe the woes of my romances with return missionaries will help your own relationship endeavors or perhaps just bring some form of enjoyment to you merely because you are not experiencing the same schizophrenic love life as me.. basically, just be happy that you are not me:

Well here we go, after round two of getting "dumped" by return missionaries, I have found there are some crucial things that determine whether or not the RM you are interested in is truly ready to be in a relationship... despite what he leads you to believe:

• Go on more than one date:
• Sounds simple right? Wrong. These boy are tricky. They think just because they ask you on a date that you will fall for them instantaneously.. don't get me wrong, sometimes that is the case.. but even if he does lure you in with his unwavering testimony, frequent temple trips, and all of those exotic tales from the lands of his foreign mission, don't let his RM magic fool you! Just because the frist date worked out doesn't necessarily mean your short romance was divinely orchestrated.
• Make sure he is fully adjusted to Post-Mission life:
• Yeah, yeah, yeah.. he says he's acclimated to the real world. He claims that he is completely normal and ready to start dating. But just to be sure, let's take a look at this key question:

Has he been home for more than 3 months?

• If the answer to this question is no, RUN. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. The title wave known as a committed relationship is going to drown this RM fast if he hasn't had time to figure out key survival skills that are essential for the post-mission life. Does this sneaky young lad know what being in a relationship means? Yes. Does he want to be in one? Well that truly depends on the guy... in my case no... TWICE. (But who's counting)

I know, you're asking yourself "So what? Why is she telling me this?" ...or maybe you just think I'm crazy -which may be the case.. and now that I think about it, makes my relationship issues far more understandable.. but regardless, take my advice and just don't date RMs. They plague the streets of Provo, lurring in unsuspecting sophomore girls, promising relationships filled with direction but leaving us dwelling in a perpetual state of confusion and regret.

-Lady Lucy

So Lady Adelaide just singed her nose hair when she was smelling our candle.

The Numbers of Saturday Morning

1 - How many of us are awake and at work

2 - How many of us are awake and studying (or writing this post) on the couch

3 - How many of us are still dead asleep

0 - The number of working kitchen sinks we have

40 - The temperature (Fahrenheit) in this apartment since someone left the cooler on high last night

116 - The number of flashcards I've gone through this morning

75 - The number of terms I have to learn from chapter 6 alone

3 - The number of blankets required to keep from shivering in here

52 - Hours until I take my first midterm

83 - Days until Christmas break (and also the Hobbit!!!)

3 - Cartons of ice cream we'll probably buy later today

7 - Pairs of underwear that were worn to class yesterday by our apartment

3 - Cups of apple cider I intend to drink today

6 - Hours I'll probably spend on campus studying today

-Lady Distain-

MEGA-BEDS, HOME BOYS AND WASHINGTON...

These three things, though insignificant and meaningless to some, have led us here. They have brought us to a place where we are forced to accept all the embarrassing, awkward and full blown inappropriate situations that come with living in Provo. We are no longer ashamed of our social blunders, in fact we welcome them, and therefore would like to share them.. with you. Yes, you! We realize that as you embark on this journey there may be feelings of unsurety with the occasional (perhaps frequent) spout of utter disgust.. not to mention the overwhelming haze of confusion and disbelief that may impede your ability to complete simple daily tasks in a normal, socially-acceptable fashion. But rather than simply repressing these scarring moments (like normal human beings), we have decided to post them. On the internet. For all to see. Yes, we know. You're welcome. So whether you (unfortunately) know what we are going though or just take pleasure in the pain and suffering of your average BYU Sophomores, we hope this blog will make you more satisfied than devouring a Chipotle burrito after 3 days of fasting..

What? I had to throw in a Mormon joke somewhere!

-Lady Lucy-